More Americans than ever are feeling lonely and socially isolated. This lack of social connection is having profound effects on our mental and physical health, according to a warning released by the Surgeon General on May 1st. 
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This formal advisory is the first time America’s top doctor has issued a warning about loneliness and adds to growing concern that the epidemic will only get worse as remote and hybrid work models become permanent for millions of American's.
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Rates of loneliness, which were already at record highs pre-pandemic, have only gotten worse post-pandemic. The impact of it is likely to be devastating. In fact, the Surgeon General cited earlier research showing that loneliness is as deadly as smoking. 

After working with hundreds of organizations and over 20,000 CEOs and managers to implement workplace well-being strategies, I strongly believe that the shift toward hybrid and remote work is only going to make the loneliness epidemic worse. That said, it’s clear that hybrid and remote work is here to stay. So, given these challenges, here are three ways employers can cultivate connection with their employees to mitigate the effects of the rise in loneliness:

“Nice guys finish last.”
“Check your emotions at the door.”
“Suck it up, buttercup.”

All of these well-trotted expressions speak to an outdated model of leadership. In a world turned upside down and with the workplace redefining itself, this model no longer holds - especially when it comes to our mental health. 

Rather, the stats are too big to ignore:

• Rates of depression have tripled for Americans.
• Levels of loneliness have skyrocketed, especially for young people.
• Rates of suicide are on the rise (again). 

Mental health is an issue for everyone - even at the highest levels. A Deloitte report found that 70% of top leaders are seriously considering quitting for mental health reasons. While it’s affecting everyone, it’s affecting some more than others. Factors such as gender and line of work are leading to a disproportionate impact. Construction workers, for example, are at the second highest risk for suicide, second only to veterans. And, while more women suffer from depression and are more likely to contemplate suicide, men are three times more likely to die by suicide.

Having worked with over 200 organizations and trained over 15,000 managers and leaders, I see a clear pattern: Those organizations and industries that need this new kind of leadership most, are often the ones who resist it the most. ​

What we’re now seeing – whether in Kuwait, China, Brazil, Bangladesh or the U.S. – is that the world needs wellness! Diseases and conditions traditionally associated with urbanization and higher standards of living, aka “Western lifestyle,” are not only happening in non-Western parts of the world, but seem to be happening at a faster rate in countries outside of the US. For example, the rise in childhood obesity is happening 30% faster in developing countries than in wealthier nations.
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So, what can we do? The last step I recommend, drawn from my book Workplace Wellness that Works, is to go global. That is, we need to share best practices across borders.​

I often hear leaders and wellness professionals ask for products and services that will “get people to change” or will “get people motivated.” Here’s the thing: nothing will ever “get people to change” or “get people motivated.” Rather, people change themselves. The best we can do is to create the conditions in which people are more likely to motivate themselves.
So, what can we do? We can follow the lead of Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia, who aptly titled his book “Let My People Go Surfing” – as opposed to “Get My People to Go Surfing.”

To transition from “get” to “let” – we must move away from our over-reliance on incentives and penalties. Currently, the average employee incentive has reached a whopping $742, up from $651 in 2016. It’s gotten so high, in fact, that employees are leaving money on the table, according to a recent study.

What the research overwhelmingly and repeatedly shows is that at best incentives will get people in the door, but they will never keep people there. Moreover, there’s evidence to suggest that incentives may perversely undermine the intrinsic motivation and willingness to sustain a behavior over time.
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Shortly after delivering a training workshop, I received an email from one of the attendees (let’s call her “Anna”):

“I am looking for some of the studies that have been done on the correlation between happiness and wellness. I am presenting to our “C Suite” on Monday and wanted something to reference. “

I shared a few resources and followed up a couple of weeks later to see how it went. And, here’s what she said:

“Despite my efforts to come prepared with data, studies and big ideas, my presentation wasn’t well received. My “C Suite” was more worried about the bottom line than any impact we might be able to make. So, back to the drawing board. It was the most frustrating Monday meeting I’ve had in a while and honestly, took the wind out of my sails.”
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Every August, I travel to a remote island in Maine for our family vacation. This annual ritual of disconnecting from technology and reconnecting with the natural world is what keeps me sane. How do you keep your sanity in an Always-On Culture?

​Or, consider this: If you were to describe your life as a ladder, which step would you say that you are on (on a scale from 0-10)? How about in 5 years from now?
 
This is a measure that is often used to determine where people are on the spectrum from suffering to struggling to thriving. And, what scientists are seeing is that the number of Americans who are suffering right now is at record highs. As measured by Gallup, 5.6% are considered “suffering” on the Life Evaluation Index, the highest since the index’s inception in 2008. 

​Over and over again, we’re told “More self-care!” Yes, self-care is good, but team-care is even better. 
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Case in point: I once worked extensively with a medical department, helping them to tackle some work performance issues. Almost immediately, I observed how within a cesspool of dysfunction, backstabbing, tolerated toxicity and wasted energy that reigned across the department, there was one team that stood out. It was a bright spot. These team members were innovative. They provided outstanding patient care. They proactively supported one another. They always had each other’s backs. 

This was a team that prioritized team-care, not just self-care.